Wills - important issue for anyone with kids under 18

[Dennis Lawrence]

Hi everyone. I'm a professional will writer and Louise kindly suggested I post something about this important issue on the forum to see if anyone would like more info.

I recently discovered that if you don't have a will and the unthinkable happened to both parents (an accident for example), then if you haven't appointed guardians, it is actually the Court who decides who takes care of your kids until they reach 18.

Of course, once the Court gets involved, that also means social services and possibly (although let's hope not!) temporary state care for the kids while the lengthy legal process is taking place.

Sorry if this sounds a bit upsetting - I was certainly shocked! Luckily all you need to make sure this nightmare never happens is an up-to-date will, stating your own choice of guardian / guardians for them.

Here's a link below to an article I've written about this issue. I've agreed with Louise that if enough people are interested from this post, we can put the whole article live on the Essex Mums website for wider discussion.

I hope you find this info useful. Feel free to ask anything you like and I'll do my best to help.

http://www.denlawrence.blogspot.co.uk/2 ... ns-in.html

Dennis Lawrence,
Proud Dad of two in Danbury! (Girl, 11 and Boy, 13 years)

[lea-marie]

This is definitely something that I have thought about but was previously told that requests in wills generally play no part in where a child goes?

[weezypops]

We had a will done and were told that our wishes about who looked after the kids would be honoured, I think they usually are unless there are special circumstances.

[lea-marie]

That's what I had thought, but was told otherwise?

I also never realised that because Charli's dad and I were not married, that he doesn't have those rights to her automatically?! I would have assumed that if I died, she would go straight to him?

[Dennis Lawrence]

Hi Lea-Marie

In answer to the first point, Louise is correct, naming a guardian or guardians in your will is the correct way to ensure your children are safe if anything happens to you, and is legally binding, as long as the guardians you appoint are willing to accept the role, of course.

However, your second point about parental responsibility for unmarried fathers is also correct and very important, because if you do not have parental responsibility, you have no right to appoint guardians in your will.

The way it works is this; if you die and there is a surviving parent with parental responsibility then the children would automatically go to that parent first. If you die and you are the last one with parental responsibility, then the guardians you name in your will come into play at that point. If there is no will, then the Court will step in and decide who is most fit to assume the role - hence the urgent need for all parents to have a will.

So the key is, who has parental responsibility and, therefore, the right to name guardians in their will?

The law is crazy in this regard if you ask me. If you are married when the children are born, both parents have parental responsibility in law. However, if you are unmarried, as you said, only the mother has parental responsibility! That means, if the mother dies, the father would have to seek Court approval to bring up his own kids!!! Crazy but true...

Again, there is a very easy way to sort this out (apart from getting married, of course!!). The mother can simply name the father in her will as primary guardian and, for added security, I would suggest that both parents also appoint alternative guardians in your wills, in case both of you die together.

Hope this helps - if you want to contact me direct for a chat about this important issue for you, please do and I'd be happy to help.

D

[Dennis Lawrence]

Hi - just worked out how to subscribe to this topic so should hopefully be able to reply sooner now! Thanks...D

[lea-marie]

Thank you Dennis, I wasn't aware of a lot of this, so will definitely be looking to have this amended asap!

Do you offer will-writing services yourself?

[Dennis Lawrence]

No problem, Lea-Marie I'm glad it's been useful.

Yes I'm a qualified Will Writer based in Danbury and I help people all over Essex with their wills, powers of attorney etc.

I would suggest that the first step for you is to work out exactly what's best for your family. Not sure what the etiquette is on the forum, but if you message me in the usual way I'll give you a call, if you like, and we'll get you on the right track. No obligation at all (other than maybe a cup of tea, if you're offering!) and I'm happy to help.

Dennis

[lea-marie]

Sounds like a good idea Dennis!

I shall discuss this with all the relevant people and then come back to you

Thank you again!

[Dennis Lawrence]

No problem, Lea-Marie. Look forward to helping, speak to you soon

D

[Dennis Lawrence]

Hi all

I just helped a Dad get his new will in place today - signed by him and witnessed by two independent witnesses this morning.

Interesting case, as he has recently separated from his wife, but they both put their differences aside and agreed to appoint guardians in their wills so that, no matter what happens to either of them in the future, the kids will be taken care of by people they both trust.

They also agreed not only to name primary guardians in their wills, but also named a secondary guardian, just in case their first choice were unable or unwilling to take on the role for whatever reason. Very sensible...

It's great to see people put their kids first, even in very difficult circumstances

Dennis Lawrence Aff. SWW
Professional Will Writer and Dad of 2, Danbury, Essex!

[BrandonsMum08]

Just to add to this about Parental Responsibility. An unmarried father to a child born after Dec 2003 now automatically gets PR providing his name is on the childd birth certificate. For children born to unmarried parents BEFORE dec 2003, then the father has to apply for PR through the courts.

Any unmarried father of a child born before dec 2003 should be urged to apply for PR. This is because in the case of an emergency he would have no say over urgent decisions in hospital, ie blood transfusions, life saving op etc. Also, without PR, most if not all schools will allow information about the child to be sent to them ie school reports.

[BrandonsMum08]

Just to add to this about Parental Responsibility. An unmarried father to a child born after Dec 2003 now automatically gets PR providing his name is on the childd birth certificate. For children born to unmarried parents BEFORE dec 2003, then the father has to apply for PR through the courts.

Any unmarried father of a child born before dec 2003 should be urged to apply for PR. This is because in the case of an emergency he would have no say over urgent decisions in hospital, ie blood transfusions, life saving op etc. Also, without PR, most if not all schools will allow information about the child to be sent to them ie school reports.