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What would you do?

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weezypops
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What would you do?

#1 Unread post by weezypops » Mon Aug 08, 2011 7:51 pm

I have two people I know on my facebook - person A and person B. A is B's 15(possibly 16) year old daughter. They don't have each other on their facebook though. A has joked that B won't accept her friendship because she doesn't want her to know what she's up to. Hope that makes some sense.

Anyway, A often posts pics of her and her mates mucking about and they all do that dreadful stick-boobs-out-duck-pout-face-thing but she's just posted a load of webcam pictures of her and some friends in their underwear, looking... well, very provocatively at the camera etc.

What I'm wondering is whether I should mention it to her mum. It just seems very careless and somewhat dangerous to be posting pictures like that of yourself on the internet, especially when you're that young. At the most she's 16 which probably means she thinks of herself as grown up but she's clearly not as mature as she thinks this is. As well as this they're smoking some sort of hookah pipe, which actually bothers me less but is still a bit off.

My instinct is to mention it to B but then I think is it none of my business? Is this what teenagers do now? :roll: Should I try to talk to B and suggest she take the pictures down or is she just going to dismiss me as being an old fogey and carry on anyway because she'll clearly know best? Kester's suggestion is that I talk to B and say if she doesn't take them down I'm going to tell her mum. I don't really know if she'll listen to me though, we don't really know each other that well to be honest. I just keep thinking what if it was Iris - I would want to know so that I could lay down some ground rules etc. But then if she is 16 (or nearly 16) she's old enough to be married, have sex etc so is it up to her what she does with her body?

Ah, I dunno - what would you do? Hope this makes some sense!
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Jenn
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Re: What would you do?

#2 Unread post by Jenn » Mon Aug 08, 2011 8:02 pm

Has the girl not got her date of birth on the page?

If she was 16 then I think I would leave it (unless I was really close with the mum) if she is 15 then I think I would mention it to the mum.

I don't know how well you know them tho! SO difficult to say!

Do you need to be friends with the daughter? I would be tempted to delete as a friend or to 'hide' future posts so that you can claim ignorance in future?

Sometimes I see pics of 15 yr old ex scouts in bikinis and underwear and it really scares me! I really couldn't face their parent knowing what is out there online of them!
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Re: What would you do?

#3 Unread post by weezypops » Mon Aug 08, 2011 8:08 pm

She has a fake date of birth - I think she put it on there when you had to be past a certain age to join facebook. I know she has just done her GCSEs so even if she is 16, it's not by much.

I'm pretty close to her mum, at least I would feel bad knowing these are out there and she doesn't know. I don't think I could just pretend not to know.
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Re: What would you do?

#4 Unread post by bluewaterbabeiam » Mon Aug 08, 2011 8:14 pm

I think you have to go with your gut reaction Louise and if you feel it's right to mention it to your friend then you should. If something happened and you hadn't done something am sure you'd feel bad. Hope this helps?
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Re: What would you do?

#5 Unread post by Jenn » Mon Aug 08, 2011 8:14 pm

oh right ok!

If you are close to the mum then I would say something. Because I would need to be comfortable when seeing her. And lets face it - photos like this can affect a life forever if they get out and about! It is serious! For example - I have an ex scout and they have just announced they are gay. I don't feel the need to tell their mum tho - but then it isn't dangerous, it isn't risky and there are not pervy people out there looking at this child!

Maybe just something like 'Have you any idea at all what she sometimes puts on her page?' I take it the mum knows you are friends with her?
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Re: What would you do?

#6 Unread post by XxJack~AcexX » Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:59 pm

I would say something hun to the mum. Go with your instincts x
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Re: What would you do?

#7 Unread post by weezypops » Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:17 pm

Thanks everyone. In the end I sent a message to her old sister, thought it was a happy medium. Will see what she says!
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Re: What would you do?

#8 Unread post by sarahsquarepants » Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:42 pm

Wish I'd read this sooner! I know I'm bias as I teach teenagers but would definately not keep this one to myself. There are actually some legalities around this to an extent - technically anyone who views pictures of a sexual nature of a minor can get into trouble over charges of child pornography, this includes facebook and the recent trend known as sexting (sending people sexual images are texts via mobile phone). To prevent the girl getting herself into any bother (or anyone else) would just tackfully talk to mum, but as I say this is with my uber sensitive professional hat on.

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Re: What would you do?

#9 Unread post by weezypops » Mon Aug 29, 2011 10:29 pm

Hmm, that is an interesting take on it, I didn't know the laws were that strict. She has actually taken me off as a facebook friend now (I assume her sister told her who mentioned it) but the sister assures me they've been taken down. I may still mention it to their mum though, not sure.
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