Number 4...?

[LilBuddy]

Hi there, (not sure this was the right place to post!)

(I'm a little nervous about posting this, not sure why!! I think perhaps because I am connected to some of you on FB and it's not something I would post there!!) So hubby has started talking about having a 4th... Whilst, I'm not strictly opposed to this idea it's just that our 3 our still quite young and it would mean 4 children 5 and under. Also, hubby works away (sunday night - friday) I spend most of my time seemingling (is that a word?) on my own and still 2 st overweight from last pregnancy!! I feel like I have been pregnant more than not for the last 5 years and that maybe it's time to get some 'me' time (which I dont get at all) - it's not that I am ungrateful I just find myself in a weird position - would I be selfish for saying no? Or should I just go with the flow? I'm not expecting anyone to give me the answer, just wondered if anyone had similar feelings/experiences?

Most appreciated!
xx

[weezypops]

I don't think you sound selfish at all! Four children under five is a big deal! I'm rather dreading three under 6! I think you should discuss it with your husband and don't necessarily say absolutely no, but try to get him to see some of your reservations, it's possible he just hasn't really thought things through and is just enamoured with the idea of a new baby!

[LilBuddy]

Thanks, Louise. Although we have discussed it, perhaps it needs revisiting. Just needed some female input I guess in lieu of being able to have a proper discussion with him until the weekend.

3's a breeze except when you want to go to theme parks, or you're out on your own with them!

[weezypops]

Haha, 'when you're out on your own with them' - that doesn't instill much confidence in me!

[LilBuddy]

lol, well there is the odd moment when you need 3 hands and not 2! Although yours are a little older so might be more compliant?! I have definitely noticed its a little easier once they get to 4+

[Schmushe]

I think it would be something that you'd need to feel 100% sure you wanted and were able to manage. Men do forget its women carrying them and dealing with the kids whilst they work. They see all the good stuff associated with it.
We've had this conversation recently where my hubbie would like to try again but I now want to be more than just a mummy. I want to be a person myself and start to follow my dreams. Everyone is different though

Def have 'the chat' with him. Be good to get everything out in the open and you may find you warm to the idea.

[nubs]

Wowzers! I think its nice to have an even number but I understand where you are coming from - definately a little chat is required x hope you come to a decisionx

[LilBuddy]

Thanks, Michelle and Kris.

Michelle, yes, I'm starting (actually have always wanted to be) to want to be more than just a 'mummy'. I resigned my city job earlier this year as I just didnt feel I could do that, get the children to nursery and me on a train with hubby away - now I feel like I am going insane slightly, as I have always gone back to work and this is the longest that I havent worked! I'm not averse to the idea, just have conflicting emotions, and I guess no one to discuss it with is not helping!! Roll on the weekend!

Kris, even number would be nice, but how on earth do you get 4 kiddies in a car?? Let alone on a plane....?! xx

[rachel jane]

I have 3 kids and a stepdaughter who lives with us half the time and comes on holidays with us and too be honest its not that much different to having 3 although when you go out you feel like the pied piper. Its the expense and as they get older i am finding it even more expensive.
I always wanted 3 but then i had a girl and a boy and i told myself i was done but it was always in the back of my mind saying "go on just one more" so i did as i thought i would regret it and its worked out great. Have you got that voice saying "go on"? If you have then talk to your hubby but if not just enjoy your 3 lovely kids.
Also hats off to you practically looking after them on your own during the week. I'm waiting at the door for my partner to get home from work.x

[LilBuddy]

Thanks, Rachel. Yeah I guess I do have that 'one more' thing going on. I find 3 hard wrk on my own, although don't want to get to 40 then do it, as it will be like starting over! I need to consider it more then discuss. Lol at pied piper, I feel a bit like that already!!! X

[rachel jane]

I think if your going to do it then do it now so they are all close together and you will be able to work when they are a bit older.x

[Gillybean]

Like Rachel said perhaps if you would both like the number 4 wait till the others are a bit older. I always wanted another after I had my older 2 but hubby said no so I told myself he was right and would even tell people that 2 was enough but I always thought about it.

We now have our third which surprisingly was hubby's idea and we are so pleased we did she definitely completes us but also as my older 2 are 9 & 7 there is a big age gap which means when they are at school I get one to one time with her which is nice