Andy and I have been together a little while now, however, the circumstances in which we got together were a little 'shady' I guess you could say...
Andy was engaged to my best friend (I’ll call her ‘E’ for ease of reference). I know it sounds awful, but it isn't quite as bad as it sounds... Him and E had been together for about 8/9 years, and in that time, he never really spoke to or acknowledged me, which E attributed to the fact that he didn't like me/thought I was a bad influence on her etc They were engaged and I was helping E to plan the wedding. They had a slightly testy relationship and broke up for a bit, got back together etc E complained to me a lot about how Andy paid her no attention and that he was always miserable etc Well more towards the end of the relationship, she started spending a lot of time with another guy, and more or less started an affair with him. Andy found out, and shortly after they split up, as she left Andy for this other guy.
Anyway, I was part of an online dating site and a few months after they split (bearing in mind E was my best friend, so I had supported her decision etc), Andy popped up on my profile and sent me a message saying hi etc So we chatted for a while (the most we had ever talked actually) - it was all just general chatting and he talked a bit about how he felt about the break up and asked about how I was following my break with Paul etc and we talked about things we were doing - that sort of thing. It turned out that he had never spoken to me previously because my friend had told him that I didn't like him (the same as E had told me about him!) but we chatted very easily all evening. He mentioned a film that he had wanted to watch so I offered to lend it to him and he said he would pick it up one evening the following week. Well he came over to get it and we get chatting again, and he ended up staying until early hours the next morning just talking. We started to hang out a bit and realised that we had a lot in common and started to like each other. I pushed that aside at first because of my friend, but just couldn't ignore it much longer.
As soon as it got to this point, I knew I had to tell E, so I contacted her mum first (who I was close to as well) and explained the situation to her. She was very positive about it and said that she was really happy for us etc - she really supported the idea. So Andy and I made the decision to tell E and then make it official.
I arranged to meet with E and when we met, I told her straight away. She took it really badly - she started crying and told me that he was with me out of revenge. (This was an idea that had crossed my mind at first but soon left my mind again since he never once mentioned or asked about E, and he was making efforts with Charli etc). E then left in tears. I text her apologizing and didn’t hear back from her until a month later saying she would never forgive me. She has since bad mouthed me to several people that I know, but she also continuously talks about Andy and missing him to these same people.
To be honest, this was the response that I expected and that was fine, although I have missed her.
Now this is where the problem lies… Her parents. Andy had parted from the family saying that he would keep in touch etc (as you do), but her mum is taking this to new levels. She messages Andy at least once a week, telling him how much she and E miss him, that they wish they could turn back time and want him back in the family; I’ll never be forgiven for what I’ve done etc He has told her several times that while he’s happy to talk to them about general stuff, he doesn’t care to know anything about E or her relationship (she is still with the guy she left him for). But this falls consistently on deaf ears.
I tried to be patient and understanding about this at first, but it is still going on now, and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to bite my tongue. It has started to cause tension with Andy and I (not all the time, just when it comes up) and whenever I try and talk about it calmly with E’s mum, she palms me off and tells me that I have a great guy and to ‘just be happy’.
Whenever she messages Andy, she says that she is realizing that he is happy and will leave him alone, then messages again a few days later – and heaven forbid he doesn’t anser, as she goes crazy on him!
How would any of you deal with this, because it is starting to drive me mad!!
