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A 'True Friend'

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weezypops
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A 'True Friend'

#1 Unread post by weezypops » Sun May 01, 2011 7:52 pm

How do you define a real friend? I've been thinking about this a lot recently for some reason and it seems it's something that really varies from person to person, which surprises me a little as I'd expect most people to want similar things... anyway, I thought I'd ask on here to see what people said. I think it's easy to give the obvious answers - honesty, someone who supports you etc. but what is it that makes those few people stand out as special to you?

For me it's all about knowing what to expect. Knowing that a true friend knows me so well (regardless of whether we've known each other a year or twenty years) they know how I will react to something, know what I mean when I say something and can just pick up where we left off if we haven't seen one another for a while. That they won't be upset if I snap because I'm having a bad day but likewise can tell when I'm acting out of character and will ask what's wrong or even call me out if I'm being inappropriate. Likewise it's knowing you can tell them anything about yourself, talk to them about anything and they know you so well they won't think bad of you. I think a good friendship can have its ups and downs, you don't always have to see eye to eye necessarily but you know that they won't treat you badly, upset you intentionally or make you worry about the state of the friendship - that if something has gone askew you can ask and you'll get an honest answer.

What about you?

(sorry if this is a bit philosophical for a sunday night!)
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Re: A 'True Friend'

#2 Unread post by nubs » Sun May 01, 2011 8:12 pm

I think a true friendship like u said Louise is when time apart or distance doesn't hinder and u can pick up from when you last saw eachother, you can call on them no matter what, chat about anything without them judging you but with their support and advice it helps u through difficult and happy times - at time true friendships can be absent friendships and each blip helps the friendship grow x
I can honestly say I have some true friends I have made on EM whom I have laughed and cried with and we all know they are there no matter what
I also have true friends that I have known since very very young and things never change - I think different life events help you create true friendships, my move to Ireland made me realise who were my true friends in England, and then my move back the same
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Re: A 'True Friend'

#3 Unread post by weezypops » Sun May 01, 2011 8:20 pm

I think you're right about moving away making you realise things - sometimes that distance allows you to pick out the ones who really are important. We had a lot of very good, close friends in London who are people I still love greatly and enjoy seeing when we get a chance, but of a group of probably 20 or so people, there are only a small handful who are the ones I know will always be there - moving away to Chicago helped me see that. It's not like the others aren't real friends or anything, but that distance just gives you a bit more insight into the ones you'd make a lot of effort to see and who would do the same for you.

I've also made some great friends on here, some in a group, some individually, and I hope they too last! It's lovely to think of the kids growing up together and staying chums!
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Re: A 'True Friend'

#4 Unread post by nubs » Sun May 01, 2011 8:30 pm

I often think about what the kids will get upto in 10-15 years time I think they are all quite close, and eachtime they see eachother you see there friendships grow and how they interact with eachother is lovely x
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Re: A 'True Friend'

#5 Unread post by Clairebear » Sun May 01, 2011 9:21 pm

I am with you on the not seeing someone for ages and easily picking up where you left off. My best friend and I went through a stage of hardly seeing each other/speaking, but when we did it was as if no time had passed at all.

I also agree with you, Louise, on what you said about close friends knowing you so well that they know when something is wrong, even if you insist that there is nothing.

I used to have all 'fair weather friends' who just ended up drifting away and for years I was really lonely with no real friends, but over the last few years I have made some real, amazing friends who have really been there when things have been tough, I really could not manage without them now and feel so lucky to have them in my life. It definitely is really lovely to see the children growing so close over the time they have known each other, can't wait to see how their friendships develop over the next ten years or so!
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Re: A 'True Friend'

#6 Unread post by Gina73 » Mon May 02, 2011 8:07 am

I agree with you all, I have made some wonderful friends through EM who I could not be without, we are able to be honest with each other and although we dont see each other as often as we should we know we are always there for each other.

I have friends who I have known since school and even though we went through a stage of not seeing or speaking to each other for nearly 10 years, but as soon as we saw each other it was like we had never been apart.

I am very close to my cousin in Devon, although we dont speak or see each other very much, she is usually the person I phone if I need someone to speak to.

I dont think I have a 'best' friend, but I do have alot of very close friends who I could not live without.
Mum to Mia & Mason, wife to Steve - life is for living.

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Re: A 'True Friend'

#7 Unread post by Leanne&5children » Mon May 02, 2011 8:12 am

I totally agree a true friend is there for you no matter what, the distance, time wether you haven't seen them for years someone that will be there at the end of the phone.

I haven't really got anyone that i could call a real friend aprt from my mum or my cousin, but i've spoken to alot of other twin mummies on facebook which i feel are closer to me than my friends, i've never met these mums but am able to talk about whatever and not be judged there there whatever the crisis, whether its coz we have the twin connection i don't know.
Leanne and children xxxx
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Re: A 'True Friend'

#8 Unread post by XxJack~AcexX » Mon May 02, 2011 8:52 am

Ahh having friends that will be there no matter what wether you have seen them an hour ago or a month ago. There the ones that really count. The ones you can trust no matter what.

I have many friends that I love bless them that im close to. I may not see them as much as I would like to but there are bestys :D
Thanks to EM also I have also met a new friend on here that actually feels like we have known eachother for years and its only been 2 ahh.
Yes we all no its Lindsay... Linds no big heads :lol: ha ha!! xx
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Re: A 'True Friend'

#9 Unread post by BrandonsMum08 » Mon May 02, 2011 11:39 am

I agree with you all on the time and distance thing. Unfortunately i dont have my best friend around anymore. We would have been friends for life, despite little teenage tiffs etc but she died in 2007 and i miss her so much. I often wonder if anyone will even come close to being a bestfriend like she was. We knew things about each other than no one else knew. We supported each other through bad relationships, relatives passing away, other friends coming and going etc. Sadly one person came between us before she died and we were "due" to have a chat about things the night of the accident.

I do have a long term close friend, Lauren. She moved to Sible Hedingham about 6 years ago, and we havent seen each other for 4 years. Each time we arrange to meet up, someone always ends up ill and it gets put off. Despite this, we are always at the end of the phone for each other. We dont talk as much as we should maybe, but at least a couple of times a month and 'update' each other on our lives and the kids and have a good long chat. No matter how long we dont see each other or speak, we are always still there.
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dolphins
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Re: A 'True Friend'

#10 Unread post by dolphins » Sun Jun 05, 2011 9:50 pm

hi everyone i am new to essexmums

i agree with what everyone said i think a true friend would do any thing for you if you need help,a friend who lives far would come and see you when there free,would care for you when your ill or when your having baby and ect,would know every thing about you and would be there for you when you feel down.


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