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Giving up :(

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jakie_my_cheeky_monkey
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Giving up :(

#1 Unread post by jakie_my_cheeky_monkey » Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:19 pm

Hello


Having a hard time at the moment, need all you advice

I Have had enough with doing everything and not getting any help at all
My Partner is so lazy he gets me to get him stuff from upstairs in stead of getting it himself he just lay's on the sofa and falls asleep,
i look after jake my son all by my self every single day without no help. I don't go out anymore without Jake I Have no choice if my friends ask me i say no because i can't seem to get anyone to babysit Jake or dave will winge if i do go out i have a time limit to how late i be. I Can't remember the last time i went out, going to thorpe park next mouth i only can go because my partner's dad to the day off work so i could go out, but really it should be dAVE doing that 4 me. I' staying round my close friend the night be4 we go to thorpe park and dave didnt like that and he won't let me stay over that night either i just feel like i'm not getting alive and i better of on my own he earns more money then me and i still seem to help him out I HAVE gave him £300 out of my savings that i'm saving up for my car he said he give me that bk slowly. he doesn't let me see my family he hates my dad only becuase my dad tells the truth about him all my family think his controlling me. and his motional black mailed me in the pass when i try to split up with him saying its all my felt that i split Jake's family up and u can explain to him when his older that it was all your doing.
I HAVE JUST HAD ENOUGH! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
I think i be happier on my own.
[img]http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd263/CLAIRE_BEAR_1985/jake2.jpg[/img]


XxJack~AcexX
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Re: Giving up :(

#2 Unread post by XxJack~AcexX » Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:26 pm

Oh hun. I no i dont no Dave but I no you... It seems as if he takes you for granted huni.
Oh darl it must be hard as you obviously love him to be with him??!!

You need to honestly think what will be better for you and Jake, its fair enough me for e.g saying no you need to be away and on your own, but its easier said than done. xxxxxx
Big hugs to you darl. xx
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rachel jane
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Re: Giving up :(

#3 Unread post by rachel jane » Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:28 pm

I reckon you should get rid he doesn't sound like a nice person and you and Jake would be better off without him.

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Re: Giving up :(

#4 Unread post by weezypops » Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:34 pm

It does sound to me like your Dad is right. I think you should let him know that you are seriously thinking of leaving and if he tries to tell you that you will be splitting up Jake's family, make sure you point out that at the moment you are the only one doing anything for Jake, so it's hardly a family.
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jakie_my_cheeky_monkey
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Re: Giving up :(

#5 Unread post by jakie_my_cheeky_monkey » Fri Apr 08, 2011 5:52 pm

Yeah whats makes it worse is that he wants me to have another baby so Jake has a sister or a brother i said no and i told him i'm not having another baby if i don't get help now and he doesn't say anything he just says well that's not fair on Jake. And he doesn't understand why I'm not loving towards him. lol I just feel my life is being controlled i don't need that i feel having my own place would be good for me and like u said Louise i be doing it all myself anyways maybe he will do more with Jake when we have split up and he will soon find out it's not easy. I'm just gonna have to try and ignore him if he try's to black mail me again. Just thinks like he come home from work even on his day's off if we are at home i cook dinner for all of us and i seat down and couple sec or mins later he says cup of tea and i sometimes don't get a please or a thank you out of it. I'm gonna be focus on passing my driving test and after that sort out getting somewhere privet to live and tell him how i feel. It's gone on to long now every time we split up he said he change and help more and he hasn't he's gone bk to his normal ways. :(
[img]http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd263/CLAIRE_BEAR_1985/jake2.jpg[/img]


jakie_my_cheeky_monkey
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Re: Giving up :(

#6 Unread post by jakie_my_cheeky_monkey » Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:50 pm

Really Hard to keep my mouth shut as i live with his dad i so wanna tell him but can't not untill everything is sorted out and found somewhere to live and after i pass my driving test.
[img]http://i224.photobucket.com/albums/dd263/CLAIRE_BEAR_1985/jake2.jpg[/img]

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Gina73
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Re: Giving up :(

#7 Unread post by Gina73 » Sat Apr 09, 2011 9:29 am

Oh hun, feel so much for you.

I was with a very controlling person for 11 years from the age of 17. We didnt have a child, but I found it so difficult to leave him, took me nearly 2 years.

I was not allowed to get my hair cut, he didnt like me going out, lost contact with all my friends. I know how difficult it can be to make that decision and the way I looked at it was did I still want to be in the same situation in 10 years time. You only get one life and you need to be happy.

I hope whatever you decide to do is best for you and Jake. Like you have said, it is not much of a family life, and if you are not happy Jake will pick up on that.
Mum to Mia & Mason, wife to Steve - life is for living.

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BrandonsMum08
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Re: Giving up :(

#8 Unread post by BrandonsMum08 » Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:37 am

I also think your dad is right. Some men dont like their partners going out and having friends, but stopping you seeing your family is beyond ridiculous. And getting you to do everything for him, you are right, that is plain laziness and if i were you id tell him to get off his backside and do it himself. But then i am the sort of person who is unfront enough to say something like that, so i do understand it is easier said than done, especially when you are so used to doing it.

As for him saying splitting up the family will be your fault and Jake will know that etc, just remember lots of families have broken up and the children dont blame either parent. Jake will pick up on an unhappy home. A happy single parent is better than an unhappy volatile family unit.

Do you still speak to your family even though you dont see them? Maybe you should speak to him about how you are feeling and what you are planning so you have some extra support. If your dad is like mine and be the sort to throw it back in your face saying "i told you so", then start by saying to him "i know you were right, but i needed to work it out and sort things out for myself, and now i really need, and would love your support right now please".
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sarahsquarepants
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Re: Giving up :(

#9 Unread post by sarahsquarepants » Mon Apr 11, 2011 8:44 pm

Hiya hun,

I think the girls have already given you some solid advice, so I will just add that if you do leave don't be scared about how you will get on. My life and Sarah's life has been so much better since leaving her biological Dad, she doesn't have to see me upset and stressed, same as you and your boy. If you do decide to split up, it will be like a weight off your shoulders after a while.

I loved being my own person and being with Sarah in a happy, peaceful environment. Happy mummy happy child. Good luck with everything, I hope things work out for the best whichever way.

KJ xxxx
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dolphins
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Re: Giving up :(

#10 Unread post by dolphins » Sun Jun 05, 2011 10:15 pm

hi hun
i have been in a realationship with a guy being controlling he would check that i am meeting friends,that im going shopes,i had to do house work all the time,wouldnt let me stay out for long,when i come bk home he takes to his couzin and not me . had 2 do dinner,and while i was doing all that he cheated he told me he didnt love any more and told his family that im dam plus he didnt call me he txt me dat he cheated nd plus i know her.

but now im wiv my man now been with 3 years and got lovely 2 sons and live together its so much better being on ur own or with a guy who is so amazing and you will get a lot of weight off your body and no stress
good luch hun hope you are ok and jake
let us know how you are huni


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