What would you do?

[weezypops]

There's an elderly woman who lives on my road. She's really friendly and always says hello when we pass her house, but isn't at all nosy or pushy. I really like her and she's often seen arm in arm with her husband walking down the road - they're very sweet.

Anyway, a hearse went down my road earlier and I looked out of the window to see her in the one behind. She caught my eye and gave me a sad, little wave. I'm thinking her husband must have died as I know he was ill a while ago, has been in and out of hospital and he is quite elderly.

If that's the case, I would like to send a card, or at least offer my condolences when I see her but I keep thinking, what if it wasn't her husband? I can't exactly ask her outright who died, and it will be awful if I make that assumption and it's wrong, though I reckon it must be right. I also think it will be bad though if I don't acknowledge it.

What would you do?

[Jenn]

I think I would find a thinking of you card and not mention husband or anything - just a thinking of you during yoor loss, or at thi ssad time. you are most likely right and it was her husband as they drive past the person's house on the way to the service don't they.

How sad! I know of several funerals that happened today!

It is a lovely thought of you!

[rachel jane]

Ah i would pop a card in hun thats a really nice thing to do and am sure she will appreciate it.

[Jeanette]

I think Jenns suggestion is good. Get a card that isn't specific. Nice thought Lou.

[sheeina]

yes i agree with jenn.
a none specific card would do and i think rachel is right and she will appreciate the thought!

[Schmushe]

I agree with the others. However she might appreciate a chat too, cards and flowers are such a nice gesture and it makes you realise your cared about, but it really is the personal touch by just asking 'are you ok', 'do you need a hand with anything'.

[BrandonsMum08]

I also agree with Jenn about a non specific card, and also with Michelle for the personal verbal touch.
When my nextdoor neighbour lost her husband last year, my OH was there and sat with her in her living room whilst paramedics worked on him upstairs. Shortly after we had snow and bad weather and often knocked to see if she was ok, or if she needed anything from the shops if we were going out. She really appreciated that, especially when she didnt feel upto going out but needed a pint of milk or a newspaper.