Is Anger a problem for you?

This is the sixth of Nadia Wyatt’s monthly blogs
For this month, I, Nadia Wyatt, Counsellor and Psychotherapist, have decided to focus on anger as it is a problem that seems to be increasing in our society. As a Child Counsellor, it surprises me that more and more young children are being recommended for Anger Management courses to help them cope with and address their anger issues. So how about taking part, for yourself, in the questionnaire below to see how big a part ANGER plays in your life?

Answer the following questions below, honestly, by ticking those that apply to you over the past 6 months.

 

  1. You handled an aggravating situation poorly
  2. You feel embarrassed or guilty about the way you handle your anger
  3. Another person has told you that your way of expressing anger is a problem
  4. An important relationship at home, at work, among friends or family has been strained by your expression of anger
  5. Someone you care about has urged you to get help for managing your anger
  6. You have been in serious trouble because of the way you express your anger

If you tick 3 or more it’s likely that you have a problem with your expression of anger that ought to be explored. But, if you ticked all 6 then anger is a serious issue for you and you probably know that you need to address it urgently.

It is important that you understand and become aware of the different faces of anger so that you know when you are beginning to get angry. By being able to know and understand the different faces of anger you can then learn how to stop YOUR ANGER intensifying. So what are the different faces of anger?

 

Passive Aggression

  • Withholding praise, attention, or affection
  • Not following through on commitments
  • Withholding intimacy when upset
  • Engaging in actions that will purposely upset the other person
  • Chronic lateness
  • Sarcasm
  • Making humorous or cutting remarks about others
  • Revealing embarrassing personal information to others about person upset to cause public humiliation
  • Using tone of voice that conveys disgust

 

Cold Anger

  • Withdrawing from other person for long periods of time
  • Avoiding intimacy as punishment
  • Refusing to reveal what is wrong
  • Hostility
  • Raised voice, seeming more stressed out than usual
  • Acting time impatient
  • Showing visible signs of frustration and annoyance with others who do not meet high expectation for competence or performance

 

Aggression

  • Raising your voice and being verbally abusive at same time
  • Cursing, name calling, blaming
  • Having thoughts or mental pictures of hurting others
  • Acting out anger with touching, pushing, blocking and/or hitting

If any of the above rings true for you or for someone you know and you want to discuss any of the issues above privately and confidentially, then please feel free to contact me by visiting my website, Goals Solutions, for further details.

Nadia Wyatt is a Clinical Psychotherapist from Goals Solutions

Source: Dr R. Nay, Taking Charge of Anger

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