We all strive to be better parents, there’s no question about that. However, we have found that parenting strategies, techniques, rules and all those other things are not what you need to be a good parent. Before seeking any of these, it is essential that you seek self-love.
How Does Self-love Make You a Better Parent?
We need love, that is a fact. Love energizes us, and makes us feel wanted, appreciated, and recognized; in turn, we start putting in more effort in life. Because we spend every waking moment with ourselves, it is important that we show it love. Then, as a parent, you would be able to communicate the love you have for yourself to them. You’ll start feeling more willing and able to play with them and do all sorts of activities. Not to mention, you’ll have the mental capacity and energy to listen to their problems and to support them. Keep in mind that children are highly sensitive, if you’re exhausted all the time, they’ll feel it. That’s why it’s okay to spend some time alone and recuperate and give yourself the love it needs to power through life.
Techniques to Help You Love Yourself
The term ‘self-love’ is easily understandable, but the execution can be hard for some. It shouldn’t be, though. Self-love corresponds with self-care so, to love yourself, you need to spoil it a little bit. Maybe try taking a day to yourself; go out on a walk or sit down and indulge in a nice meal, the important thing is to show yourself that you love it. Self-love can even be through masturbation; you’ll find that self love has never been so easy, because at its most basic level, sex translates to love. Another thing you can also try to do is forgive yourself; accepting your failures cements your unconditional love for yourself.
The Science Behind Self-love and Parenting
We see our kids as a reflection of our identities. If you fail to love yourself for who you are, you will definitely fail to extend that love for your kids. In addition, psychologists say that we tend to project our frustrations with ourselves on other people; for example, some seek to control others to compensate for not being in control of their own lives. If you’re at peace with yourself, why would you snap at your kids? Like we’ve said before, kids are extremely sensitive; they tend to mimic their parents’ behavior. When they see you failing to accept yourself or criticizing yourself a lot, they’ll start forming that idea that they need to be perfect; a common thought among teenagers with eating disorders, anxiety disorders and depression.
Strength Vs Weakness
There’s a common misconception that loving yourself is selfish or weak. Throughout the article, we have tried to make it clear that self-love is the mark of mentally and emotionally healthy individuals. It is also necessary if you aim to become a good parent. The basis of parenting is love; a good parent must love their child unconditionally. Now, how do you properly extend this type of love to another person? By loving yourself first.