5 Common Mistakes that Fathers Should Avoid in a Child Custody Battle

Experiencing a divorce can be both financially and emotionally straining. The regular visits to the court, the revelation of the ugly details, and the character assassination make it the most challenging time in a man’s life.

However, with all the pains and challenges a man faces during a divorce, it is the fear of losing the young ones that haunts him the most. Anyone who has been through the ordeal of a tough divorce will agree that it is the love for your sons and daughters that give a man the hope he needs to stay strong and battle hard during these tough times.

We know that the battle for the custody of a child can get ugly very quickly; intimate secrets which were not supposed to go out in public can be revealed and can become a tool for further character assassination.

The best strategy to fight during the ugly battle is to be ready for everything and expect even the most unpleasant of allegations to be leveled against you. Having a good lawyer helps in the situation because a good lawyer has the acumen to fight the case for you firstly and secondly to develop a compact plan for you to follow.

You may have come across infamous child custody battles in your life. Notorious cases highlight the significance of the poor choice of words or ill-timed actions on the verdict of the case. A slight mistake can cost you the custody of your kids.

To help you fight the most important legal battle of your life we have compiled a list of common mistakes that you should avoid.

Keep Your Behaviour in Check

An ugly divorce can bring out the worst in you. Experienced child custody lawyers will tell you of numerous incidents where losing calm cost the client the legal battle. Showing frustration or anger during court proceedings can have negative repercussions on the outcome.

Additionally, it is very common for people to use alcohol or drugs to relieve themselves of the stress they are under; this is not a good idea. A slight hint of your activities to the opposing party can lead to you being subject to drug testing, which is never good for your prospects in the case.

During legal proceedings, it is essential that you keep your emotions in check. Regardless, of how heated and nasty the argument gets it is imperative that you don’t use physical contact, reacting calmly and letting your lawyer deal with the situation will help you in facing the challenge.

Avoid Disrespecting the Court

At the beginning of the proceedings, your lawyer will brief you about laws and actions that lead to the contempt of court. Abiding the advice your lawyer gives should be your utmost priority. At times it may feel like that the whole world including the court is against you, but it is at times like these when you need to display extraordinary determination and resilience.

Disrespecting the court is one common mistake that many dads make during the course of legal proceedings. If the date of a hearing clashes with that of a meeting or a conference, cancel or postpone the meeting and attend the hearing. Physical presence during a court hearing shows your willingness to gain custody of your young ones.

Dressing appropriately for court proceedings will show your respect for the judge, a formal business suit gives in a good impression. The most important thing, however, is to not lie to the judge. Although your lawyer may give you a better idea of how to deal with the court proceedings, you still need to be wary of the basics of all legal hearings.

Avoid Being Neglectful of Your Kids

When under observation, any action of yours can have negative consequences. Neglecting court orders and being ignorant to the needs of your kids can be used against you in the larger scheme of things. Taking your kids out for an evening and not returning on time will be used against you in the court.

Therefore, it is essential to stay vigilant at all times. However, being vigilant does not mean that you don’t be a cool dad around your children, it is crucial that your kids enjoy your company and like being around you.

Avoid Refusing Communication with Your Ex

By the time the divorce hearing starts you may start despising your wife, but this should not be the reason for you to refuse any communication with your ex.

You may have to meet your wife regularly during the hearing or even after it to take your children out or to decide the method of sharing the custody of your children. During the meeting, it is essential to communicate in a decent, civil manner and avoid being aggressive when your ex shows agitation or frustration.

Refusing to communicate will not allow you the option of discussing crucial aspects of child custody.

Don’t Spew Hatred Against Your Wife

This is another common mistake that Dads commit. Talking ill about your wife in front of your children is never a good idea. In addition to needlessly confusing the child, backbiting about your ex in front of the child can come to the knowledge of the opposition.

Children usually can be pressurized into twisting words and presenting it as claims; this is why you should avoid any discussion about your wife in front of your children.

Similarly, in this digital age and the age of social media, news of your divorce may quickly hit the gossip circles. Some of the gossip you may come across may be outright rubbish, as you may hear made up narrations about yourself; however, it is important to stay quiet and not respond to any controversial statement you hear from your wife.

Writing a post on your Facebook or Instagram account with the help of your lawyer will assist in bringing out your version of the story to the world. However, writing long posts of how much you hate your ex-wife will never yield good results but will instead be held against you in the court of law.


The primary theme of all the factors mentioned above is not losing a sense of calm. Anger and frustration have never brought out the best in a human being and the two emotions will not be helpful for you too.

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