Once boys reach their teenage years, it can become a difficult period for parents, especially mums. They can start to feel detached from their son and unsure of how to connect with him. If you’re going through this, here are some techniques you can try to help you connect with your son as well as some areas you should avoid when dealing with teenage boys.
The need to reconnect
As a boy gets older he can sometimes lose his connection with his mum. He will tend to still do things with his dad, such as watching sports or taking part in hobbies together. On the other hand, his mum is often just someone who is around and is a consistent part of his life. This means that often a mum will have to work harder to maintain that connection with her son.
Maintain communication
It’s important as a mum to listen to your child when they have something important to say or they feel that no one else is there for them. He should be able to rely on you to give advice when it’s needed and ask questions about different aspects of his life.
Spend time together
It’s even harder to keep a connection with your son if you don’t put in the right amount of time with him. It’s crucial that you devote time to one another on a regular basis, and even a small amount of quality time each day can be beneficial. This allows you to catch up and ensure that anything important is discussed straight away.
Take an interest
Your teenage son will probably be interested in areas that you’re not as concerned about. However, even if you don’t share hobbies and interests, you still need to show you’re enthusiastic about what he’s doing. Engage with him on his own level and ask him about what he’s doing or where he’s been with his friends. It might even be a good idea to do some research on your own so that you can ‘hold your own’ in a conversation. For example, if your son is a Formula 1 fan, you might look at sites such as http://www.maxmosley.org.uk/. Max Mosley is one of the most well known figures in the Formula 1 world, and he would be a great starting point to start finding out about the sport.
Allow him some privacy
All teenage boys will need their own space and want to spend time alone. This doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate the company of the rest of the family, but it’s just a necessary part of growing up. You should respect this need – don’t make him feel that he needs to always be with you or anyone else in the house.
What to avoid
As boys get older they might not want shows of affection in public as it can be embarrassing. There are other ways that you can let him know that you love him and you’ll be there for him, rather than hugging him in front of his friends.
You might think that you’re being a cool mum by having a lack of discipline in your house, but even teenage boys need a certain amount of rules in their lives. You should ensure that you set limits and follow through when necessary.
By keeping in touch with your teenage son and continuing to engage with him, you can ensure that you maintain a connection right through to adulthood.
